When it comes to holiday shopping as a parent, these are things I wished someone had told me during this parenting thing.
1. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad about not getting gifts.
2. Don’t allow yourself to question your motherhood/Fatherhood if you can't afford everything on your kids' “list.”
3: And please understand paying your bills is more important than gifts under a tree.
I speak from experience. I remember a few holiday seasons and birthdays, stressing, crying, and skipping bills to give my kids and others everything. I'm not saying people shouldn’t celebrate during the holiday season, but I acknowledge that most PARENTS provide throughout the year. Talk to your babies. They are more understanding than you think. Don’t cause stress and trauma for yourself. If your cup is empty, you are no good to them, babies. Trust me; most would much rather have an active, healthy parent than an inactive, stressed-out one.
Ask your child to list every item they received for Christmas last year. Do they remember? Are they still utilizing it? Ask them if they would instead like to receive gifts all year or just once a year. Now, ask them what is their favorite memory with you this year. I bet they can recall that over a present, and if not, begin creating memories because those outlast gifts.
Moral of the Story: Sometimes, we cause our own stress by having imaginary obligations and engaging in traditions that we may not still believe in at the core. Not having a gift for your child does not make you a "bad" parent. Are you making sure your child is cared for? Fed? Clothed? etc.? Then pick your head up and remember you are a dope mother and a fantastic father. Don't allow society to guilt trip you into thinking you are a terrible parent. It's one day out of 365. You show up and do a dang good job all 365!!! One day does not define you!
If you need assistance with processing any guilt that lingers, book your free mental health check-in today! Blessings to all, and Happy Holidays.
I started the New Year off with boxing gear to celebrate my birthday! #teamCap
For some reason, I knew (even when writing the original caption) that this was the year I would put on my boxing gloves and go toe to toe with the most broken parts of me! I knew this would be my biggest battle and the year of transformation! But I knew If I committed to healing, I would find my powers and embody this version of me!
I got into that mirror! I owned my truth (the good, bad, and the ugly!) I showed myself grace, forgave myself, and INVESTED IN MY professional, personal, clinical, and spiritual SELF! I gained internal confidence; I devoted myself to my calling; I fell and grew in love with my person; I stayed consistent with my therapist; I slowed down, I self-correct more often; I continued to show grace to others and myself, I become one with the earth, I learn the universe, I work on my connection with the God I serve.
Everything on my vision board became aligned; I started being in rooms with the right people and realizing who the f*** I am! I forgave! I let go of a lot of imaginary obligations. I lost some close relationships that no longer served a purpose in my life, and the ones I no longer served a purpose in their lives (dead weight)!
I can go on and on! But I promise life’s experiences will become more GLOWful when you start freeing that pain!
I will be coming to more places next year! Check back for upcoming tour dates.
Moral of the Story: I’m doing my part; you have to do yours by showing up for YOU. I dare you to reflect on this year. What patterns did you repeat? What habits did you break? Book your free check-in if you need assistance with processing your behavioral patterns.
#therapistmickelld #letstalktherapy #letsheal #ClinicalLiscensedTherapist